“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
Winter has been hiding from us here in Indiana but it has decided to come out of hiding but it still remains unseasonably moderate. I hope I haven’t triggered a change for the worse.
The other day I read an article by Mark Chernoff that I think has a lot of merit. I believe that far too many of us compulsively try to please everyone or equally as bad try to make others change to please ourselves. Too many of us in effect give who we are try to become what we are not. I honestly think that living the happy life results from know yourself and then spending your time just being you.
I have abridged Chernoff’s article because of its length but have retained all his points. Oh and by the way I like you the way you are when you daon’t try to be someone else.
7 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others
The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others. Which means it’s time to…
1. Stop expecting them to agree with you. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life you are excited about. Don’t let the opinions of others make you forget that. You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours. In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you need from everyone else.
2. Stop expecting them to respect you more than you respect yourself. True strength is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles. It’s about having faith and trust in who you are, and a willingness to act upon it. Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself.
3. Stop expecting (and needing) them to like you. You might feel unwanted and unworthy to one person, but you are priceless to another. Don’t ever forget your worth. Spend time with those who value you. No matter how good you are to people, there will always be one negative person who criticizes you. Smile, ignore them, and carry on.
4. Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are. Loving and respecting others means allowing them to be themselves. When you stop expecting people to be a certain way, you can begin to appreciate THEM.
5. Stop expecting them to know what you’re thinking. People can’t read minds. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them. Your boss? Yeah, he doesn’t know you’re hoping for a promotion because you haven’t told him yet. That cute guy you haven’t talked to because you’re too shy? Yeah, you guessed it, he hasn’t given you the time of day simply because you haven’t given him the time of day either.
In life, you have to communicate with others regularly and effectively. And often, you have to open your vocal cords and speak the first words. You have to tell people what you’re thinking. It’s as simple as that.
6. Stop expecting them to suddenly change. If there’s a specific behavior someone you care about has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows how you feel and what you need them to do.
For the most part though, you can’t change people and you shouldn’t try. Either you accept who they are or you choose to live without them.
7. Stop expecting them to be “OK.” Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle, just like you. Every smile or sign of strength hides an inner struggle every bit as complex and extraordinary as your own.
“There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person being themselves. Imagine going through your day being unapologetically you.”
HELPFUL LIFE HINTS
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her, and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."
When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney J. Harris
Joe went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said. "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I'm sure that there's somebody under it. I haven't slept in a week. I'm going crazy."
"Come to me three times a week and I'll cure your fears."
"How much do you charge"?
"A hundred dollars per visit."
Six months later, the doctor met Joe on the street.
"Why didn't you ever come to see me again"?
"A bartender cured me for $10. He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
The person who spends all of today bragging about what he is going to accomplish tomorrow probably did the very same thing yesterday.
Growing up as a kid, I learned all about capitalism through the board game Monopoly. I mean, what better way to teach a young mind the way our economy functions. I loved this game and still do. Only now, as an adult I have some questions that remain unanswered. For instance, if I have all this money and own all this real estate...why am I still driving around in a thimble?
Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business," always be followed by the word "but"?
A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-six-year-old woman because her hand signals were confusing.
"First you put your hand up, like you're turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you turn left," said the officer.
"I decided not to turn right," she explains.
"Then why the up and down?" asks the officer.
"Officer," she sniffs, "I was erasing!"
The essential lesson I've learned in life is to just be yourself. Treasure the magnificent being that you are and recognize first and foremost you're not here as a human being only. You're a spiritual being having a human experience.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.