Ray set a new personal record!

[Ray]

Life is only traveled once; today's moment becomes tomorrow's memory. Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the GIFT of LIFE is LIFE itself. Have a nice day.

Author unknown

My surgery was a success and I set a new personal record. Up until now the most polyps they ever removed in one setting was seven and yesterday he got eight. These were the smaller guys they left after they did the really big guy a few months ago. They also found that there is still a staple remaining inside from the earlier procedure. While I will have to wait for biopsy reports everything appeared to be precancerous.

Since I was scheduled for a very early appointment I only had a few hours’ sleep as pre-op preparation took most of the night including another half-gallon of purge liquid starting at 1 AM. The good news is that between the anesthetic residual goofiness and no sleep overnight I spent most of the day yesterday sleeping it off. I slept like a baby and I did not wake up crying nor did I require a diaper change.

So now what? Well first I again learned that when you fast, the clock slows down. Second, Weight Watchers is a much easier way to lose weight than gastrointestinal pre-op procedures. Third, any real food tastes wonderful after a day and a half of yucky liquids. And finally the good news, no more GI stuff this year, they won’t go back in until next summer. Now all I have to do is continue to self-administer Lovenox shots until my blood thinners kick back in which I hope only means a few more days of stabbing myself twice a day.

In truth I consider myself fortunate that I have the docs and hospitals available to solve my health problems and that I have Medicare and supplemental insurance to protect us from financial disaster. One more day and I will be back in action, enjoying life, having fun and hopefully doing some good in the process. So what do you say, want to join the refurbished me and tilt a few windmills, if so I am grateful for your company and I’ll see you out there.

~~~

Living in the favorable and unfavorable situation is called Part of living. But, smiling in all those situations is called Art of living.

Author Unknown

~~~

A man who's known in his small town as a carouser stops his minister on the street one day. "Say, reverend," says the dissolute fellow, "can you tell me what the cause of gout is?"

The minister sees the question as a good opportunity to teach the man a lesson. "Gout is caused by the intemperate consumption of alcoholic beverages, by gluttony, and by even worse transgressions that I won't even speak of," the minister says. "But I will tell you that it is visited upon those who have departed from the way of the Lord and now follow the tortured path of the most abominable sin."

The minister pauses, then asks, "How long have you had this gout?"

"Oh, I don't have gout," the man says. "I was asking because someone told me the bishop has just been diagnosed with it."

~~~

The tombstone read, Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.  It was.

~~~

She said:

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup..... I wanna be a bear.

~~~

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

Joseph Campbell

~~~

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.

~~~

Abe asked, "Is my face dirty or is it just my imagination?"

Mollie answered, "Your face is clean but I don't know about your imagination."

~~~

Grandma Levy, always a regular synagogue member, had finally talked her cousin, a woman who had lived a riotous, free life into joining the Temple. "Tell me Rabbi," the old lady asked, "Do you feel that my cousin will have her sins forgiven after all those years?"

"Yes I do. I'm positive of it. You must remember that the greater the number of sins, the greater the glory."

"Yeah?" the old lady replied thoughtfully. "Gee Rabbi, I sure do wish I'd known that fifty years ago."

~~~

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Larry Baum

~~~

A 55 year old man who was born on May 5, has been married 5 years, has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, who's lucky number is 5 receives a phone call from a friend.

The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening. Excitedly, the man withdraws 5,555.00 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5.

Sure enough the horse comes in fifth.

~~~

My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet.

Tom Sims

~~~

Not long after their wedding, the newlyweds awoke early one morning. The couple had been up for quite a while before they met up in the kitchen. Marriage was agreeing with the husband, and he greeted his new wife with glee and excitation that morning.

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."

"Great! What are we having for breakfast?" he asked "Toast and juice." replied the bride.

~~~

Each day the world is born anew for him who takes it rightly.

James Russell Lowell

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

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