Let us celebrate

[Ray]

Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed - else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die.

Dwight D. Eisenhower


Here we go, July again and torrid heat, at least where I live. I know it’s not that way everywhere, a reader in Australia wrote a day or two ago complaining about their frigid and blustery weather. In any case it is time to plan my July, Since my docs are keeping me in check for awhile I may miss some of the fun and depend on others to fulfill my role.

Here is what I found that deserves our consideration. In the U.S. it is:

National Anti-Boredom Month – I am going to do my best with this one, I hope you do too. Once they let me drive I’ll make up for lost time.
National Baked Beans Month – I love them, my wife hates them, I do all the cooking, we never have baked beans, guess who makes the final menu decisions.
National Eye Exam Month – Sorry I have been examined enough recently.
National Hitchhiking Month – I did a lot of hitchhiking years ago, it was a great way to see the country and meet new people. If this recession gets any deeper I may have to do it again.
National Hot Dog Month – I am totally into this. I lived on Chicago dogs as a kid and while I do my best to replicate their greatness I never quite get it done, but I keep trying.
National July Belongs to Blueberries Month – Well this sure simplifies everything. When folks offer me opportunities for service or request donations I’ll be able to soften my regrets by reminding them that July belongs to Blueberries.
National Purposeful Parenting Month – I am a father of three and I gave up purposeful parenting when they became adults, I am pretty sure they are grateful since my wife is waiting until they are in a retirement home to stop providing them her counsel.
I probably will not publish the Daily tomorrow since it is a National Holiday for those of us in the U.S. While our Independence Day is not until Saturday most of our citizens will be given the day off tomorrow. I hope those of you in other countries will understand my using it as an excuse not to have to think for three days.

Have fun this weekend and I’ll look for you Monday and for goodness sake SMILE!

~~~

We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.

William Faulkner

~~~

Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.

"Well," she explained, "up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend. In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees.

~~~

There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory, the other two I forget.

~~~

The district attorney stared at the jury, unable to believe its verdict.

Bitterly he asked, "What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?"

The foreman answered, "Insanity."

The D.A. said, "All twelve of you?"

~~~

Poverty: Having too much month left at the end of the money.

~~~

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
On landing the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child... pick your favorite.
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."
~~~

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

~~~

There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game.

But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now."

Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole."

"My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him. "That must've been terrible!"

"It was," he said. "All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."

~~~

We have to believe in free will. We have no choice.

~~~

Her mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty...

They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.

~~~

Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.

Samuel Johnson

~~~

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."

"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"

"Nine..."

~~~

How often we fail to realize our good fortune in living in a country where happiness is more than a lack of tragedy.

Paul Sweeney

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.



Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.



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