A wise unselfishness is not a surrender of yourself to the wishes of anyone, but only to the best discoverable course of action.
David Seabury
I had a really busy and in my mind a productive day yesterday. The thing I enjoyed the most was being able to participate in a discussion with a wide variety of community leaders who are dedicated to helping our citizens participate in making our city even better than it already is. What I liked the most was I heard no “what’s in it for me talk” nor did anyone try to dampen the enthusiasm of folks who don’t spend a lot of time on the reasons such efforts are doomed to failure.
It seems to me these days that far too many are so blinded by their self-interest that they miss opportunity after opportunity to make even their own lives better. You know, good people do good things, what I like is that doing good things make the participants lives even better.
It is seldom that we can adjust events to fit our model but most often we can adjust ourselves so we can effectively deal with events. Some time ago I read the following article that says it better than I can.
Success Comes Easily When We Ask the Right Question
By Linda McPharlin
If you are finding success to be elusive and difficult to reach in relationships, money and careers, or happiness in general, you might be asking the wrong question. Often we as human beings ask “What’s in it for me?” whenever we are faced with any given opportunity. It seems to be this way in many cultures, certainly in business, and even embedded in our very nature.
Yet the what’s in it for me attitude never seems to work out the way we had hoped. We typically end up passing by relationships or opportunities that we deem to be ‘unprofitable’ somehow for us without really ever knowing what results would have been yielded. If we do jump on an opportunity, we may end up feeling shorted if our ‘return on investment’ does not end up being exactly what we thought it would be and miss seeing or taking advantage of other unexpected rewards.
What if we reversed this question of what’s in it for me to “what’s in ME for IT?” Instead of asking what will my returns be, ask what do I have to offer or contribute. This question sets a whole different tone—for evaluation, for course of action, and for performance.
It helps us to see if something is right for us in the first place. First, it makes us examine ourselves which is really the only thing we have control over anyway. It makes us take a good look at what we can offer and the best way to offer it whatever the situation or opportunity is. As we do this, we can clearly see if something is right for us to pursue based on who we are and what we have to contribute.
It helps us to have a positive course of action. As we place our focus on the opportunity, relationship, or even just our life rather than on how we feel or what we are getting, we can act in a generous and powerful way that lends itself to whatever we are contributing to with integrity.
Lastly, this all inspires us to be at our very best. With the reward essentially now being shifted to our level and effectiveness of contribution, we will be trying our very best to give all that we can give. Not only are we in top form, but we are guaranteed success because our measure stick for success is now based on our effort and our contribution. This becomes our reward, and it is something that we actually have complete control over. As a special bonus, the relationship, the project, the career and money, or again even just our lives in general become successful in popular opinion as well because of our choices, our positive course of action, and our inspired performance.
Why not give it a try? Instead of asking what’s in it for me, ask What’s in ME for it?
~~~
“We often miss opportunity because it's dressed in overalls and looks like work”
Thomas A. Edison
~~~
For many of you this will not mean much. For myself and any others that served in the Navy in the fifties this is exactly as it was then.
How to Simulate The Life Of A Sailor. . .
~~~
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
~~~
Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the preacher says something, the congregation naturally replies.
One Sunday, a preacher was speaking on what it would take for the church to become better.
He said "If this church is to become better, it must take up it's bed, and walk."
The congregation said "Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk."
Encouraged by their response, he went further.
"If this church is going to become better, it will have to throw aside it's hindrances and run!"
The congregation replied,
"Let it run, preacher, let it run!"
Now really into his message, he spoke stronger.
"If this church really wants to become great, it will have to take up it's wings and fly!"
"Let it fly, Preacher, let it fly!" the congregation shouts.
The Preacher gets louder.
"If this church is going to fly, it will cost money!"
The congregation replied. "Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk."
~~~
A mother may hope that her daughter will get a better husband that she did, but she knows her son will never get as good a wife as his father did.
~~~
Father O'Malley answers the phone:
"Hello, is this Father O'Malley?"
"It is."
"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"
"I can."
"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"
"I do."
"Is he a member of your congregation?"
"He is."
"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"
"He will."
~~~
“I knew that in the silence that followed, that anything could happen here. It might be too late again. I might have missed my chance. But I would at least know I tried, that I took my heart and extended my hand, whatever the outcome.”
Sarah Dessen
~~~
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Ray Mitchell
Indianapolis, Indiana
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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