“Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”
Arthur Somers Roche
I had a great breakfast yesterday morning with a really effective friend, some would call her a consultant but she is really more than that. She has the capacity to see things others might miss and that is great but she does even more. She is like the business and personal ophthalmologist who makes it possible for you to see. I know of nothing more effective than helping others see the path to solutions rather than guiding them to a destination.
My friend helps folks learn to observe, process what they see and then find their own way to their goals. What she offers is a great learning experience leaving those she has helped happy with what they themselves developed and ready to take on the next challenge using their newly acquired skills.
As we talked I realized that possibly the greatest gift she leaves behind is personal courage. It is sad how many opportunities are missed because of the fear of failure. My friend lets people see success on their horizons and shows them they have all they need to move forward unaided. Our fears and our anxieties are often our worst enemies and how great it is that she provides antidotes that help cure excessive worry.
Here is something business psychologist Sharon Melnick wrote on how situational anxiety can be overcome. Often the little things are like a stone in your shoe that limits your progress and they need to be removed.
'Think Positive' When You Are Anxious
Do you ever have the experience where you are worried what is going to happen in the future? Here are some approaches you can use to 'think positive' and get back into a state where you have ease and can concentrate.
Focus on the Moment
1. Focus on the specific physical feeling you are having in your body, not on your thoughts.
For example, say to yourself slowly, "I feel tension in my shoulders; I have a sinking feeling in my stomach." Don't focus on thoughts like, "What if I lose my job" or "I have so much to do". Before 7 seconds have passed, you will notice a shift in the feeling in your body and breathing will come easier. Keep doing this a few times until the feeling of anxiety has passed.
2. Focus on what you CAN control in the moment.
Your thoughts tend to run wild towards worst case scenarios and what you can't control. Try to pinpoint something specific you are worried about, and determine specifically what worries you about the situation. Ask yourself, "What can I do right now to have more control over the outcome of this situation?" Action replaces fear.
3. Train your body to get rid of fear.
Do this exercise: Bring together the tips of the thumb and index finger and bring your hands up so they are in front of your chest facing away from you. You will breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Each time you breathe out, forcefully push your hands away from you like you are pushing away something you don't want and blow out through your mouth. Then breathe in through your nose and bring your hands back towards your chest, with your elbows by your side. Do this exercise for 1-3 minutes and you will train your body to get rid of fear.
Take yourself out of the moment -- Sometimes overfocusing on the moment keeps you stressed. Instead:
4. Project yourself into the future.
Picture yourself in the distant future, when this particular moment is insignificant and you have worked out your current problems. This 'future' version of your self has more perspective on your overall life than you do right now -- ask it what the best way is to proceed in the current situation.
5. Use distraction.
Make the distraction productive: connect with other people, go outside in a natural environment that is soothing for your senses, do a breathing exercise, listen to music or a motivating talk. Don't just numb out with an unmemorable surfing session on the internet or putter around at your desk.
I helps me to remind myself that the world will not end if I slip, for I can always pick myself up and play again another day.
If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student, Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.
"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.
"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the dean much impressed.
"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it."
People who cannot feel punish those who do.
Sadie and Esther are sitting on the porch of their Miami Beach hotel. "Oh my God," cries Sadie. "Look at that poor boy! Such a weak chin. His mouth is crooked. And look, his eyes are crossed."
"That boy," says Esther, "happens to be my son."
"Oh," replies Sadie. "On him it's very becoming."
Stress management: What many employees like to do on purpose.
Donna was attending her High School reunion and was having a blast. As the evening was drawing to a close, the master of ceremonies for the night proceeded to hand out bottles of champagne to the graduates who had traveled the farthest distance to attend the reunion, the graduate who had been married the longest time, the graduate who had become the most successful, etc.
Donna wondered if she was going to get a prize, too. Sure enough, the master of ceremonies called out her name. "Donna, you win with 11 kids." and then, trying to be clever, he added in "And champagne is only half the prize. The other half is a giant, economy size bottle of aspirin."
"Don't bother with the aspirin," Donna replied. "It's obvious with these many kids that I've never had a headache."
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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