“Celebrate your success and find humor in your failures. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Loosen up and everyone around you will loosen up. Have fun and always show enthusiasm. When all else fails, put on a costume and sing a silly song.”
The other day I read a small piece called “How to Loosen-Up is Done by Letting Go” I don’t even know who wrote it. It suggested the following:
There is only one thing we need to control and that is our own reactions. And the way to control our reactions is to loosen up by letting go. For instance, it's become clear that blaming other for our painful reactions has proven worse than useless; that answer has turned some of our friends into enemies. The life of real wisdom already lives within us. Choose to make this discovery and we will learn how to loosen up by letting go. You may not be able to think your way out of a nagging problem, but you can see your way clear of it. It is in your seeing that will bring you freedom.
The reason I wanted to share this with you is that when I read it it reminded me of a couple of recent conversations I had with friends. The first was with someone who is reluctant to show affection, she is someone who feels if she ever loosened up people might misread her feelings and expect more than she wants to give. I run into far too many folks who are afraid to just let go for fear that they might get hurt if people become too close or who, if the truth be known would like to get closer but who fear rejection. When I talked to my friend I suggested being affectionate to someone your comfortable with often results in meaningful friendships and does not automatically imply anything more than appreciation. I know my life became much better when I loosened up and told the people I know how much I appreciate them. I hug without ulterior motive, I reach out to people without fear that my action will be interpreted as a romantic gesture and most important of all I have learned I can be open and honest without fear.
Another friend recently felt the need to explain to me why they liked someone. I heard words like smart, ethical, religious, moral, and so on. These are all worthwhile traits of course but it appeared my friend felt that the folks she encountered had to pass a litmus test before they would be considered for even a small modicum of openness. I came on pretty strong as I suggested that it was perfectly alright to just like someone for who they are and the comfortable feeling that comes from being with them. You know rules may be OK in some settings but when they are self imposed and limit our chances for happiness they are of questionable value. So I am an advocate of thinking less and feeling more as I go through life meeting people and adding to my friend collection. So my friend if you are hung up, loosen up, you’ll be glad you did.
Here is what Ralph Marston has to say about loosening up:
When you can accept and even welcome your feelings, they lose their power over you. Do you feel lousy today? Instead of making that something to fight against, let it be. Accept that you feel lousy, and suddenly it's not so bad. That negative feeling begins to fall away from you when you loosen your grip on it.
Your feelings help you to perceive, understand and interact with the world. They are yours to experience, to learn from and to enjoy. Accept them all. Welcome them all. Fighting against them or resenting them does not make them go away. In fact it gives them more power.
Welcome your feelings. Experience them and then let flow on along. Each one is a positive confirmation that you're fully alive. Each one can help you to understand yourself. Let them fill your life. Don't let them dominate it.
Each day you'll move forward past a whole lot of different feelings. See them as milestones along the way, not there to slow you down, but to keep you moving positively ahead.
No me in between as I jump in the space of We.
"All Nurses Go To Heaven"
Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.
The first nurse said, "I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, but occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.
The second nurse says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patient is too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.
The third nurse says, "I was a case manager for an HMO." St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse's file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, "Congratulations! You've been admitted to heaven ... for five days!"
If the shoe fits, put it in your mouth.
A man and his wife are in bed asleep. Around 3am they are woken by the sound of someone knocking on their front door downstairs. The guy gets up, goes to the window and opens it, only to look out to pitch blackness. "Who's out there," he yells.
A voice from below calls out, "I need a push."
Afraid, the guy says, "Get lost before I call the cops! It's 3 o'clock in the morning!" and slams the window.
His wife rolls over and says, "Listen, remember when our kids got stuck in their car late one night, and that couple helped them to get it started again? Wouldn't you want to do the same for someone else, regardless of the time?"
The guy thinks about this for a while and heads downstairs to lend the man a hand. He opens the front door, again to pitch blackness, and yells out, "Hey! Do you still need a push? Where are you?"
"Yes, I do," says the voice from the darkness. "I'm over here on the swing."
A woman's favorite position is CEO.
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right.
The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, 'Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing.'
God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, 'Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him.'
God smiled. 'Think about it -- who can he tell?'
"I hate when people honk at me. Unless I'm taking a left turn - then I like it, because that's how I know it's time to turn."
A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"
"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," replied the boy's father.
His friend thought for a moment and responded, "That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career."
"Well," said the boy's father, "he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
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