“Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning.”
It is hard for me to believe that it is August already but it is. The scorching record breaking heat continues, reminding me of the days of my youth when no one had air conditioning, I don’t think I could survive this weather without it. It is not going to be easy for the kids in some of our schools that lack air conditioning who will start next week having moved to a balanced school year calendar.
I will continue contributing to the medical economy this month through another round of probes and examinations with minor surgery scheduled for September. My health status did improve in July and I am optimistic it will continue to do so. I do have some lingering restrictions that keep me from doing everything I would like to do but hopefully the restrictions will be lifted in the near future.
Meanwhile life goes on and while the world keeps turning it seems like I still wake up in the same place every day which I start most of the time with some controlled exercise and then venture out to do those things I should and can do. But in addition to meetings and more there are always those special activities that are tied to national programs as an example here are some of the things that make August special it is:
Admit You're Happy Month – I really like this one and I wish everyone would understand that happiness is within their reach if they have yet to grasp it. After all being alive is so much better than the alternative.
Family Fun Month – If you are like I am you have a few generations of family close by but they all live busy lives and are not often available for traditional family fun. I have solved that problem by adopting a much larger extended family and have fun with one or more almost every day.
National Eye Exam Month – I’ll be there and again be chastised for not using my eye drops every few minutes resulting in shrinking profits for the drop manufacturers.
National Golf Month – I don’t golf, I never had time or the disposable income. I was on a driving range once and sliced a ball and hit a lady, thus my career ended. Last year I did watch some golf in August but I got a Charlie Horse from all that walking so I stopped.
Romance Awareness Month – I am aware of this every month after all at my age romance is avoiding being hollered at for not picking up your things.
National Picnic Month – My god where can this possibly be held I just do not believe that everyone in the country can fit into a picnic ground.
Now if that was not enough next week is National Simplify your Life Week – I have decided I will simplify mine by avoiding any paper work, I am sure my creditors will understand that I failed to pay them as a patriotic gesture.
In two weeks it will be National Smile Week – I don’t know about you but I am not going to wait that long to smile.
We end the month with Be Kind to Humankind Week – I have decided that I will use the week as the first of fifty-two weeks of kindness to others, if we all make it a habit than every week will be filled with goodness.
What I don’t understand is why they did not note that it is also Be Kind to Nancy Month; after all it is my wife Nancy’s birth month.
“I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.”
Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bedroom a minute after he'd gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, "Do you have a hammer?"
A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went to the garage, and returned with a hammer. The doctor thanked him and went back into the bedroom. A moment later, he came out and asked, "Do you have a chisel?" Mr. Tuttle complied with the request.
In the next ten minutes, Dr. Carver asked for and received a pair of pliers, a screwdriver and a hacksaw. The last request got to Mr. Tuttle. He asked, "What are you doing to my wife?"
"Not a thing," replied old doc Carver. "I can't get my instrument bag open."
I locked my coat hanger in car. Good thing I had a key.
A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to take up farming. He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me 100 baby chickens." The co-op man complies.
A week later the man returns and says, "Give me 200 baby chickens." The co-op man complies.
Again, a week later the man returns. This time he says, "Give me 500 baby chickens." "Wow!" the co-op man replies, "You must really be doing well!"
"Naw," said the man with a sigh, "I'm either planting them too deep or too far apart!"
God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once and God invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once.
Some of the children at a day care center were talking about their siblings.
"My brother takes karate lessons," bragged one.
"My sister takes gymnastics," said another.
Not to be outdone, the youngest piped up, "My sister takes antibiotics!"
The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.
The bride-to-be was advised by the marriage counselor to never completely disrobe in front of her husband when retiring. One night, six weeks after the wedding, the husband said to his bride, "Is there any insanity in your family?"
"Why, no," she said. "Why do you ask?"
"I was merely wondering," said he, "why you haven't taken your hat off since we've been married."
Learn to live with self and you will learn to live with others.
She said: I was waiting tables at a country club when an elegantly dressed woman spilled Manhattan clam chowder all over her white linen skirt. She began furiously dabbing at it with a napkin.
Having plenty of experience with getting out food stains, I asked, "Can I bring you some club soda?"
"Young lady," she barked, "I'll be the judge of when I've had enough to drink. Bring me another martini!"
So long as we live among men, let us cherish humanity.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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